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Awesomeboy2000
I love baseball, coins and working on computers.

Age 23, Male

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Somewhere On Earth :3

Joined on 1/6/13

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MY NEW STORY!!!! At Least The Beginning....

Posted by Awesomeboy2000 - October 20th, 2013


Lost Love?

Chapter 1

A cold night, no one around to bother me. I sit in my favorite chair as the sleet begins to fall around our new home. My hands shiver, it’s extremely frigid in my room, and I don’t have a heater of any kind to help that, only a few thin blankets and a long trench coat.

Suddenly, someone pounds against the front door. I quickly stride downstairs to answer the door. I slowly creak open the door, but the person on the other side yanks on it, throwing me forward.

It’s the police. Three heavily armed officers come rushing in, all dressed in bullet-proof vests and traditional military uniform. “Does there seem to be a problem officer?”

“Actually,” he begins, “there is, where are your parents?”

My hands start shaking move vividly now, “They’re just upstairs in their room,” I say,”why?”

The officer pushes me gently aside, “I’m afraid that your parents are in direct violation of law 957-B,” he convincingly says, given his authority over us, “I’m here to take them away.”

“No! You can’t! They haven’t done anything wrong!” I plead with them, trying to change their minds, it doesn’t work at all. “Ma’am! If you don’t cooperate I will have you arrested for aiding an accomplice!”

I pick up a soft-ball bat I keep in the closet. I hit the first officer with a loud ding, his body hits the ground with a loud ding and lays there, lifeless.

“Arrest her!” One of the officers draws his pistol, “You are under arrest for aiding an accomplice and the assault of an on-duty officer!” I let the first officer get near enough to me, so that he’s in the range of my attack.

The first swing knocks him off his feet, he lets out a moan. Then I feel an excruciating pain in my right shoulder, the last officer had fired, and he didn’t miss.

My parents are being walked out in handcuffs, meanwhile I’m lifted up onto a stretcher and into an ambulance. Just before I’m completely inside the ambulance, I catch one last glance of my parents, their shocked, tear-stained faces staring at me.

I wake up several days later, this time I’m the one in handcuffs and I’m laying on a hospital bed. I try to sit up, the pain stops me. I black out again.

This time I don’t wake up for several months. When I do, I’m back home. I can smell the sweet, succulent aroma of eggs being cooked in the frying pan. I hope that what I’m smelling is mom’s eggs, but I doubt it. I’m right for doubting it, it was just the servant’s cooking, well I shouldn’t say servant, more of a caretaker, but that’s the title given to her.

Chapter 2

My name is Sophia Jackson. I am 14 years old with green eyes and long blond hair, sometimes I want to trim it. Ever since the incident, I live alone with my caretaker. I’ve had mobility complications in my right arm because of the severe damage it sustained. No lifting anything heavier than a milk jug, absolutely no throwing, problems writing for an extensive amount of time, and so on.


Comments

It's pretty interesting so far! I wonder what happened to her parents. I'm also interested to know how society functions with love being outlawed, as well as the reasons for it being outlawed in the first place.

Thank You!!! I'm going to be writing more soon, maybe I'll actually start getting involved with NG again!?
Oh, and her parents were taken to jail.

EDIT: OH MY GOD, TWIDDIS! YOU JUST REMINDED ME TO PUT A REASON FOR WHY IT WAS OUTLAWED LATER IN THE STORY, THANK YOU!!!!!

Brilliant! Genius! Please write more man! You're even getting better than me :)

Story starts out pretty smooth, I mean telling what someone is doing. Then, situations start right away, which makes the story intriguing. Most stories I read takes a long time before excitement starts, which makes me skip a lot of crap before it happens. Thank you my friend, I shall wait for the story to continue!

Thanks! I'll write some more now! And also I kind of gave up about a week ago because I thought, "Well I'm just a 13 year old kid thinking that I can write a story," but you have re-opened my eyes with your generous and thoughtful comment.